Whether you have been out of the dating game for a while or consider yourself not great at reading people, here are some red flags to look out for on any date.
Does your date seem incapable of putting their phone away? This is a sure-fire way to know that they aren’t that interested. If selfies and notifications are taking up more of their time than your joint conversation, then leave them to it! You clearly aren’t the priority so wait for someone who makes you feel special.
We all have niggles, little things that annoy us. If your date has turned up and complained about the traffic, how long it took to find a space, that the weather is terrible, been rude to staff at the restaurant, then chances are…they will never be happy and nothing will ever be good enough.
Beware of those who like to blame everyone else for anything they feel is wrong too, while they piously play the victim. If they’re like this at a stage of trying to impress you, you can be sure it will only get worse.
The way they treat others also speaks volumes. If your date is unnecessarily rude to a waiter or bartender, it says a lot about their empathy (or lack of). If your date is tired or stressed, it is still not a good enough excuse to be rude and shows immaturity when dealing with stress.
It’s that old favourite- “Must have a GSOH” (good sense of humour). While true, we all like to be with someone who is fun and makes us laugh, at what point does humour cease to be funny?
Everyone is different with what they may find hilarious compared to the next person and it can be a fine line. Hopefully, your date doesn’t assume it’s acceptable to verbally rip a stranger to shreds in the vain hope of getting a giggle from you. Some things just aren’t funny and definitely don’t show any level of kindness.
This should be a major red flag! If you catch someone in an out and out lie and they have the nerve to continue, run while you can!
The same should apply with obvious inconsistencies. If your date clearly likes to embellish what they’re telling you, there are probably some deep-rooted insecurities.
Bragging can quite easily be embellished too. That great job you have? Tell your date you earn £20,000 more than you do. That last holiday you had? Let’s say the Maldives rather than Ibiza. The car you drive? You can see where this is leading……..
If they cannot be honest with you at this early stage, you can bet your savings it will not get any better! Your date is lacking in something if they have to try to be someone else. Your date experience should not be a competition between you both.
Spending a good part of your date listening to him or her talking about their previous partner(s) will never be pegged as your favourite date. It shows, quite obviously, that your date harbours either some feelings for the previous relationship or even resentment. Time to move on to someone that is emotionally available.
It’s not sweet or romantic that your date orders your dinner for you, particularly when you’ve not asked for that ‘help’. It could be a sign of someone who likes to control. The next thing would be suggestions about what to wear and the colour you should consider for your hair. Time to stop wasting your time and wait for someone who wants just you.
Again, not unlike the above red flag, desperation is not attractive and could show a need to control. Most people feel overwhelmed by declarations of love very early on, and by discussing long term plans, including marriage and children. If you have asked for your date’s feelings on that subject, then an answer would only be polite. But to have this pressure placed on you, and out of the blue, should be a big warning sign!
This could be nerves and done accidentally or it could be a glaring sign of what’s to come. If your date gets a little tipsy before your meal, let’s be honest, it could happen to anyone and is likely dutch courage. It could be a sign that you are enjoying each other’s company and feel comfortable and the night (and wine) flows well.
Whereas getting blind drunk on each date, when you’ve only had 4 of them, is probably something to have concerns about. To state once again- this is a time they should be on good behaviour, so if they consider this their best, what is their worst like?
Let’s be honest, the majority of us will have tried to access a form of social media to have a quick look at our upcoming date. Having said that, you don’t want to hear “Oh, that post you put up three weeks ago, well, I don’t agree with you.” Yes, we may have looked but no, we don’t want to know how much you’ve looked! It just sounds weird…… Have a look at why you should (or shouldn’t) here.
If you want to look good on your own social media, head to notty.co.uk. With a Notty account, you can see your social score and see what others see about you including posts and likes and remove what you don’t want to be seen.
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