Married At First Sight Australia

March 9, 2022

Imagine having to isolate through the Covid lockdown with a stranger. Oh, and someone films you during it. Finally, throw in the expectation of “getting it on” with that stranger. Welcome to Married At First Sight Australia!

Firstly, let me start by saying that this is a brilliantly terrible concept. It’s truly cringe-worthy yet gripping at the same time. The editing is obvious, yet it still convinces you. I have now sat through 4 series and hate myself for watching it – it’s like an addiction.

The concept is that three “experts” (who clearly aren’t that great as their strike rate for matching people up successfully is pretty much 10%) match Australian singletons based on their ‘wants’ as well as their personalities. Often times they’ll match them up with people that they probably wouldn’t have matched with on the “outside”. 

OK, you’re with me so far? The key point of this programme is that these couples meet for the first time on their wedding day! That’s right, they each marry a complete stranger! Does this social experiment produce matches made in heaven or matrimonial pandemonium?

“He’s not my usual type” is possibly the most common phrase in episode one of each series. 

Yet still, the couple exchange vows and then spend an evening together in a hotel. Then, the newlyweds go on a ‘honeymoon’ together, sometimes in Australia and sometimes in other locations like Fiji or Singapore. The couples are then encouraged to set up home in an apartment block, usually in Sydney. Each week they have challenges to complete, a public chat with the experts and a group dinner with the other couples, which is always supplemented with a LOT of alcohol. Under those circumstances, you can imagine there are fireworks!

Now that all sounds fairly straightforward, I hear you say. That is, until you add the fact that the producers seem to pick pretty much everyone from Instagram. They are mostly wannabes who will say and do whatever it takes for their 15 minutes of fame. As you can imagine, when marriage isn’t the main focus of the experiment, then all sorts of things happen. 

Let me give you a summary of some of the happenings of Series 8 of Married At First Sight (I’ll try not to spoil it!).

• Firstly, there was the usual princess that wears way too much makeup and overdresses for every occasion but complained when her partner said she was gorgeous and felt objectified
• One with WAY too much filler and Botox who cried regularly but we couldn’t tell until the tears came out
• Not forgetting the gaslighting male that pretends to be a nice guy until he eventually gets called out on it
• Of course, there’s the guy that has a girl on the outside waiting for him (which his wife finds out about) because he’s only there for fame
• Yet another, the wife that was so blindly desperate for love that she believed everything her partner said, even when there was proof he was lying
• Furthermore, that ‘perfect couple’ who didn’t argue once until they finally argued and then it all changes
• Also the mums that left their children to go on the show, hoping to genuinely find love amongst the craziness
• There was the shy and nervous one that dressed like no adult I’ve ever seen before
• And finally… as there is in every series, the people who hook up with another person’s partner behind their back!

So now, you probably see what I mean – the concept of the programme and the people involved is bordering tragic. Yet somehow it makes for addictive viewing that’s too great to miss!

The dresses on the show are amazing. The bronzed skin and perfect hair of these glamorous beach babes is jaw-dropping. The volume of make-up worn when the couples apparently wake up on camera is surprising!

And 10% of these couples actually stay together after the experiment! Does that tell you that this experiment works? Or does it tell you that if you lock two people away together, they sometimes form a bond? I guess it’s no different to cellmates falling in love in prison… Maybe that’ll be the next Married At First Sight … Married at First Felony.